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    By situation · 4 tips

    Getting married

    A premarital checkup, plus tips for the years afterward: the time cost of housework and the health of the relationship.

    1 Before registering

    Is dating and marriage worth it?

    Get a premarital checkup, and a serious illness must be truthfully disclosed to the other person before registration

    If you have a serious illness and did not truthfully tell the other person before registration, the other person can ask the court to annul the marriage. It must be requested within one year of learning of it. The checkup itself has not been a precondition for getting the certificate since 2003, and going is voluntary. The cost depends on local policy, and it takes half a day.

    • Moderate value
    • Evidence B
    • Buys life

    2 Everyday life together

    Is dating and marriage worth it?

    Count the time cost as unpaid work, and agree on the division of labor before you register

    The national time-use survey counted unpaid work such as housework and caring for and keeping company with family members. Among those who did it that day, men averaged 1 hour 52 minutes a day and women 3 hours 29 minutes. The survey did not group people by whether they were married, so there is no official figure for "how much more housework comes with marriage," and this gender gap can only serve as an upper-bound reference. The division of labor can be worked out differently before you register.

    • High value
    • Evidence A
    • Saves time
    Is dating and marriage worth it?

    Treat the quality of a relationship as a health account: argue about the issue, not the person, and don't insult or sneer

    Couples with good relationships are somewhat healthier and have somewhat lower risk of death. The link is small, about as large as the link between diet and health. In one experiment, couples who stayed hostile during an argument healed the small wounds made in the experiment at only 60% of the speed of couples who stayed calm.

    • Moderate value
    • Evidence B
    • Buys life
    Is dating and marriage worth it?

    If your relationship is stuck in repeated fights and cold silences, go to couples therapy together: waiting around will basically not fix it by itself

    Couples who were stuck and finished couples therapy together became clearly more satisfied with the relationship, and about 70% improved. Couples who just waited on a waiting list basically did not change. But the effect fades: by year 5, about half were still clearly doing well, and about a quarter had separated or divorced.

    • Moderate value
    • Evidence A
    • Saves time
    • Disputed

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